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Category Archives: love

Have you ever read something and it turned out to be exactly what you needed to hear at that time? I felt like that yesterday when I read Marriage and Love by Emma Goldman. Emma Goldman was a feminist anarchist whose writings were published in the early 1900s. While a lot of her ideas are a bit out-dated and there is no doubt that we have progressed a lot since she wrote the book, there is still a lot that rings true for me.

It is still true that marriage is upheld as a goal for most people to aspire to. It is the mark of true adulthood. Women still sacrifice more than men do. I realize that there are many exceptions, but women still overwhelmingly choose to give up their names on marriage. For some reason, most men do not choose to change to their wife’s name. The children get the father’s name even though the biological mother did the work to produce the child. Why do men get all the credit? For some reason, the woman is usually the one to choose a career that more easily combines work with parenthood. Marriage still conforms to the traditional, hetero-normative expectations that it has always had.

I am so glad that the overall attitude towards sexuality has changed. Exceptions do remain. According to the tabloids at Superstore, the Bachelor and his lucky bride have decided to abstain from sex until marriage. I do not want to pick on them or be a bully but I can see a few pitfalls to this arrangement. Sexual compatibility is very important in a relationship and exploring with your partner before committing to them for life seems like a wise course of action. Sexuality is still a very difficult thing for many people to talk about. Many adults have sex and it is an important part of life and yet we still can’t talk about it freely. Many marriages end in divorce and many fail to live up to the standard of monogamous sex with one person until death-do-you-part. This causes the breakdown of many relationships. I believe that if more people explored their sexuality before making such an important commitment, we would be far better off.